Maybe it’s because you have been with your partner for years and have now become comfortable and secure. Follow me, if you are in a relationship that started when you were in a vulnerable place you get accustomed to being with that person, relying on them, moving in together and sharing the bills. You can live but you know if the relationship ended one of you would have to move out and the either way you lose because you rely on half of their wages to survive. You all into a routine where you are now running on auto pilot “morning babe, don’t forget we have a diner reservation at 8”. You are now being taken for granted and even if you do notice it you would rather ignore it.
The relationship could have died years ago but you’re too wrapped up in securing your insecurities so much so that you lose yourself. You don’t know who you are in the relationship, somewhere in the time you have been together you have adjusted yourself to match their needs. You have been groomed to become this person you don’t recognise, your family notice but you cannot brig yourself to see what you have become.
You stay because you’re scared of what will happen after. You’re scared that the security nest you have been living in will be taken away from you. Scared that you will not be able to continue living your lifestyle. You’re scared that all the intimate moments you shared will be shared with the world. You’re scared of getting into the next relationship. You’re scared that the children you have together will resent you for leaving, scared that they will see you as weak.
You stay because you don’t want to feel like you are betraying the other person. You have built up so much trust between yourselves, leaving feels like you have ben lying about the premise of staying together. After all the building you have done together the las thing you’ll want to see is your future crumbling.
Why do people stay in toxic relationships? Many reasons and many more for why people leave.
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さよなら
D.O.S.S. 
I have an analogy for this, not sure if it’s accurate, but then, analogy is not an equivalence. I think this situation is more or less the same as staying in a same miserable job for many years because you always find the need to justify staying in that job just because you don’t want to be seen as a quitter. What should comes first and foremost is your self respect and happiness. Your happiness comes first before anyone else’s.
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