I’m a hermit and I love it

I’m a hermit and I love it

For a long time I didn’t go out because of my age, religion and mum’s terms and conditions.
But as I became older I then realised, I had nothing to wear. It may sound funny but I’m serious, I never felt like I had adequate clothing for the various shindigs I was invited to. And even when I did it never felt good enough. This was before the boom of instagram. All I had back then was a limited Facebook so I didn’t really know how people dressed or what they wore and where.
As I started making money I was able to dictate who my appearance represented. And for a time it worked. And as I was never one to follow trends I never put myself out of pocket.

So why do I still shy away from attending events, going to see friends and everything else in between? Anxiety and depression. Thoughts like, what if T.O.M. makes a surprise visit and you’re wearing that? What if it rains ( because I get super itchy if my legs get wet). What if the trousers split as you bend. Ooooh remember how much you sweat (cue sweat glands), it would be a shame if you could see the patches through your clothes.
What if it’s not worth the money? What If your card gets declined. What if everyone else doesn’t show up. Who do you know that’s going? Then depression comes along, and I stay at home. Safe. Under my blankets looking at a ticket I paid for weeks in advance going to waste.